Darlings, you are looking at the winner of the Ridgeway Golf Course Play for Pink tennis round robin. Or not looking at, but thinking about. Or not thinking about, but ignoring. No, if you’re reading this you’re not ignoring me, you’re interested in me, you want to know more about my tennis triumphs and even, should I say it? my tennis failures. You were there for me for my defeat to Joyce in the semifinals and you’re here for me now.

How did I do it? I played ad side and poached a lot. I put a lot of pace on the ball. I came up to net on deep shots. It goes without saying that I stayed focused, and didn’t let the bad points get me down. That’s key, not getting down. Not letting the stupid shit decisions you sometimes make on the court get into your head and affect how you think about yourself. You are the point you are about to win, not the point you lost.

I tried not to serve on a bad toss.

For lunch I had poached salmon with a subpar green sauce, shrimp salad, hearts of palm and artichoke slivers in balsamic vinaigrette, and several Arnold Palmers. I didn’t waste time with the low-cost buffet items. I finished up with a few cookies and a piece of pineapple. The served dessert was banal, and I ignored it.

The goodie bag included socks, pink tennis balls, and a bottle of perfume. I don’t know yet what my prize was, because I left the luncheon early. Amy C. is going to drop it by later.

So congratulate me!