We have bought Cool Alert Pull-Ups, which I misrepresented to my husband as Icy Cold Pull-Ups. The actual model makes a cool feeling when wet, but in my imaginary version they freeze the little private parts when pee hits them. That’ll teach them. Once you go down that route, of course, there are a whole series of Pull-Ups that you could invent: The Exploding Paint Pack Pull-Ups; the Small Electric Shock Pull-Ups (too obvious?); the Smoking Pull-Ups, etc. Anything shameful or painful will do. I am interested in potty training as a construct, of course, not as a series of wet and stinky diapers, a regimen of ass-wiping, a cavalcade of candy bribes. I’m not interested in potty-training as we know it. I want to see beyond that.