We were almost hit by a car on the way to Henry's camp. When I was younger I would have welcomed a car crash as a way to get out of going to camp for the day. I also wanted to break my leg so I wouldn't have to ski and I forget what I thought would get me out of law school.

We are sending the boys to such shitty camps. Yesterday Henry’s counselors played a version of running bases in which they threw a soccer ball at the campers. Henry was hit hard in the back and cried and went to the nurse, but they waited until they pegged another camper before they stopped playing with the hard ball. When Henry told me I laughed because he told it funny. Then when I told David about it and he was shocked and upset I felt a fleeting dismay at my lack of maternal instincts.

John’s camp sucks because his counselors just stand there with vacant looks on their faces. Today a boy was screaming and trying to run out after his mother and I could see John thinking it over. Not a bad idea, he thought, but then he went to circle time instead. I’ve decided to go all retro and not care if things are substandard. I’ve decided to think that this will be good for them. Why should they always have caring, engaged caretakers? Won’t they get the wrong message about life? Etc.

I always found camp to be a time of great loneliness and unhappiness. And if I didn’t have that suffering to fall back on, where would I be today? How would I ever make art?