I couldn’t write yesterday. There’s no excuse for that. I should probably be punished. But perhaps you’re not used to punishing people. You don’t know how, you say. You never do it. While I don’t believe you at all, I am happy to help out. I punish my children from time to time, and I think I have the hang of it. Also, although I don’t generally admit this, sometimes I get angry at other adults and punish them. I actually like it much better than punishing the children. Do you remember the part in Anna Karenina when Levin is angry with Kitty and realizes that he can’t punish her without hurting himself? Unfortunately, it’s like that with my children, for me. So it’s better to punish other people, people I don’t love, if it’s at all possible.

Two ways that I punish other adults, while we’re on the topic, is that I forget their names or don’t call them back. Those are my main techniques. Does anyone else have another good way to punish an adult you know? If you did, you could use it on me.

Otherwise, you’re kind of stuck with the kids’ punishments. You know, no TV, no dessert, no special thing that you’re looking forward to. You have to find something I really care about and take it away from me. Sometimes, with the children, I miscalculate, and take something away from them that they don’t actually care about. But they usually let me know this right away, and then I find something they do care about and take that away.

You could also give me a time out. I don’t know if that’s really a punishment, though. It works great with the kids, in the sense that everyone cools down and in fact the kids generally forget what the whole thing was about and just start happily playing by themselves, but you may not think it’s harsh enough for me. Remember, there’s no excuse for me missing a day of writing. There are billions and trillions of things to write about and I wrote about none of them, even though I said I would.

Maybe you don’t want me to cry? I can’t promise that I won’t. I cry a lot, although less than I used to. If you’re really worried that I’ll cry and you’re uncomfortable with this, I have another idea for you: positive reinforcement. Set up a chart and give me a star each time I write. When I get twenty stars, let me choose anything I want as my reward.